本文作者：北雁南飞

大家好，我是北燕南飞，目前在奥克兰大学学习幼教专业。我前后一共考了5次雅思，作文从6到6.5到7到末尾8分，所以还是对于雅思作文比较有心得体会。 因为我自己本身就是高中英语老师，词汇语法没有太大问题。

第一次写作6， 我总结了一下首要是两个原因：

一，素材积累不够， 考试的vegetarian的话题根基不知道写什么，胡乱凑字数。

第二，缺乏专业指导，小作文两个线图比较写了半个小时，依旧毫无章法。分类不清晰。

第一次备考完全是自学，在网上抄了各大培训中心每场考试的范文和优美词句模仿，现在看来，那些范文有的连6.5都不到，错误的模仿以及盲目的背诵直接导致了第一次测验的失误。准备二战雅思了，在应付写作备考方面我征求了考过的考生的建议。我在港大就读的学生介绍了港中大的教授给我。

教授看了我两篇作文，他指出了问题：一线教师的我拥有很好的语法词汇基础。但是雅思写作考察的是学术写作。精确有理有据是前提，不需要比喻夸张的修辞手法。而且审题思路是第一要素，下笔千言离题万里是最忌讳的。

于是我又去听了写作公益课，决定在线学习。向来缺乏逻辑思维的我一向会跑题。老师恨铁不成钢啊。一段一段带着我写已往。自己写好的作文再对照同一期同学的作文，寻找差距，再反复改写。

大作文主体段的写法，主题句的重要性，怎样举例论证自己的观点，让步段的写法，过度句的承上启下，每节课都有作文练习。写好的作业及时拍照传到邮箱。

这里给大家讲解一下主题句的写法和大作文主体段落的开展：

议论文段落的构成就是

topic sentence 中心句

supporting sentence 支持句

for example 举例

Concluding sentence 总结句 

请看下面段落

题目：The news media has become more influential in people’s lives, some people think it is a negative development, to what extent do you agree or disagree ？

主题句：It is undeniable that media coverage plays a crucial role in disseminating（传播） information and connecting the world to individuals. 支撑句：To be more specific, individuals are liable to（倾向于） make better-informed （更明智的）decisions when they gain access to a wide range of news covering aspects of their lives. 举例句：For example, a college graduate student is in urgent need of latest news about employment and career path.总结句： Therefore, news related to these items is more helpful to them than other social resources. 

这才是议论文段落的构成方式，而很多同学在逻辑展开和举例论证方面做的不好，有时一个段落写几个点，一句带过，却没有把一个点展开来论证，这在雅思写作评分中是及其忌讳的。

以下这一段是批改团里同学的作文，关于老人是该在家还是在养老院的

题目 Should old people stay at home or be placed in nursing homes?

The most important benefit is that professional doctors give intensive medical cares to aging people in retirement homes much more easily than those people at home. Besides, they can receive a proper diet prepared by dieticians to meet their individual requirements. This is especially good for those with auditory function disabilities.  The greater flexibility of the regular medical check-ups allows for more chance to identify disease in its early stage. Importantly, their commonly held reports of physical examination can help distinguish them from other healthy people.

有没有感觉看着特别费劲？首先这一段主题句不突出，我读了很多遍才看出作者的意思是 It is beneficial for old people to  spend time in nursing home. 其次，到底哪些方面有益呢？作者写的逻辑混乱。 

按照我的理解，应该是 Firstly,staying at nursery home means getting access to professional care and nutritious food, which can not be acquired at home. 同学们可以就这一点举例。 后面再加一点，Secondly, frequent medical check-up and physical examination to prevent the occurrence of age-related disease is another advantage. 这个点不用举例了，一个段落两个点可以了。

第二次写作居然是产假（maternity leave) 的利与弊。紧张了几分钟之后，在考场上奋笔疾书。小作文还差最后一段，  十天后，成绩查到了，作文只有6.5。我非常难过，拿去复议，两个月后，邮箱收到邮件，复议成功，写作升高。成绩单上的6.5变成了7！

由于我申请的专业需要四个七，还是差口语成绩，我决定去读三周语言学校，在这里，学会了小作文的写法。抓住主要数据，主要特征，注意单位，数据最显著的一条线或者一列表格数字写在开头，相似数据写完了再写相反数据。看以下图

开头段这样写：改写原来段落

The line graphs display the quantities of goods transported in the Uk from 1974 to by road, water, rail and pipeline.

主体段第一段从数据最明显数值最大的陆运road写起,:

The most distinctive feature was seen in the category of road, in 1974, 70 million tonnes of goods were transported by road, after experiencing some fluctuations（起伏，波动）, the figure increased dramatically to 90 million tonnes in 1998 and increased minorly to 100 million tonnes in 2002.

接下来写在它下面的水运water, 也是增加， 数值稍微减小

A similar trend was seen in the category of water, although the initial number was 40 million tonnes from 1974 to 1978, it experienced a minorrise to 60 million tonnes in 1982 and reached 62 million tonnnes in 2002 after experiencing some fluctuations.

再写铁路运输rail, 相反趋势，

However, an inversely trend was seen in the category of rail,although it displayed an identical figure as the data of water between theyears of 1974 and 1978, it showed a decreasing trend and reached 41 milliontonnes in 2002.

最后写体量最小的管道运输： pipeline

Pipeline was the least important transport code even though itdisplayed a ring trend, it transported 5 million tonnes of goods in 1974andreached the peak at 20 million tonnes in 1995, then the figure leveled off atthe same data of 20 million tonnes till .

结尾段落：注意结尾段落不要出现数据了

In conclusion, it is evident that road was the dominant transportcode from 1974 and while pipe line was the least important one whichcarried the least amount of goods.

大作文也学会了一些新的写法，例如把原因和解决方案写在一段，逻辑更为清晰。

Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to school. what are the reasons, how can we solve this problem ?

原因Primarily, the rooted cause for this thorny issue is related to the learning pattern designed by many developing countries, such as China which just focus on the passive learning rather than interactive learning. This means that pupils have to spend too much time in class sitting still, listening toboring lectures or being tasted. 解决方案To transform this situation, great efforts and measures should betaken. For example, teachers should try their best to make classes interesting and lively to help learners learn efficiently and provide them enough opportunities to acquire knowledge via interacting with their peers and speakers. Besides, the students also should take part in extra-curricular activities and explore the interesting aspects of subjects actively rather than passively accept teachers’ orders.

我考试的时候就是类似的题目，关于现在在大城市骑自行车的人越来越少了，给出原因和解决方案。我就用了类似的写法。 在新西兰考到了写作8。

放两张奥克兰的美景~

因为一边上班一边备考，我花的时间久了一点，整整考了一年。你们比我年轻，比我机会好，一开始备考要选最正确的范文，最专业的老师，发现错了及时纠正，备考雅思很辛苦，特别是写作，练习大于上课，积累大于技巧，剑4-剑12的考官范文请你熟悉，路在脚下，生命的梦想破茧成蝶需要很多很多的辛苦和努力！