【视频】如果学校里的科目会说话，你猜猜他们会抱怨什么？
Okay, let’s hammer out this class schedule for the next semester.
来，让我们一起来敲定一下下学期的课程表吧。
Bueno.
好的。
According to the multiverse theory, there are infinite timelines, my dude.
根据多元宇宙理论，时间是无限的，我的兄弟。
Well, history would show that that’s just fanciful thinking.
但是，历史会表明，这只是一种幻想。
And it shows that life is just a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing!
而且历史告诉我们，生活就好像一个白痴在讲故事一样，到处都是喧嚣和愤怒，毫无意义！
End scene.
落幕。
Guys, we are already on a tangent.
伙计们，我们离题了。
Sports fans, I think drama needs to run a lap.
体育迷们，我认为戏剧课可能需要先发表一下他的看法。
And I have concerns that he is pounding what looks like hard liquor.
我担心再不让他说，他就得喝醉了。
It’s just a prop. It’s iced tea. It’s…
这不是烈酒！这是冰茶！这……
Guys! This is important, okay? I don’t want this meeting to take forever.
大家！这件事很重要，认真点，好吗？我不想讲太久。
Just like the construction of the Cologne Cathedral, which took over 600 years to complete between 1248 and 1880!
不想拖得像科隆大教堂的建造一样，1248年动工，到1880年才完成，花了600多年！
Why is this meeting so important?
为什么我们需要开这个会？很重要吗？
En France les etudiants make their own schedules.
在法国，大家可以制定自己的课程表。
As soon as they’re old enough to fume their first cigarette.
只要他们到了可以合法吸烟的年龄。
Smoking is so bad for you.
吸烟对身体不好。
If you don’t believe me, check out this picture of a diseased lung.
如果你不相信，可以看看这张肺部病变的照片。
Dude, cool!
我的天哪，兄弟！
Eww, why would you show that to me? I almost lost my appetite.
你为什么要给我看这个？太让人倒胃口了。
And today’s Chicken Tendy Tuesday.
今天可是星期二，吃鸡肉的日子！
Oh, hey guys. Got room for me?
哦，嘿，伙计们。给我留了空吗？
Get outta here, study hall.
离开这里，自习课。
No one does any work in your period anyway.
你这节课无关轻重。
They just end up playing Candy Crush.
大家都只会在一起玩玩游戏而已。
When they should be doing their algebra homework.
其实他们更应该去做代数作业。
Sports fans, everyone knows that math is the least useful subject in life.
体育迷们，每个人都知道数学是生活中最没用的科目。
Now, that’s just obtuse.
这种观点已经过时了。
Yeah, I’m sure knowing the rules of pickleball is way more important.
是的，可能了解匹克球的规则对生活更有用吧。
That is correct, sports fans.
没错，体育迷们。
Pickleball, very important.
匹克球当然是非常重要的。
Is this an example of verbal irony?
这是在反讽吗？
Why, or why not?
是？或者不是？
PE!
体育！
See me after this meeting.
会议结束后来找我。
Math is a very important subject invented in 300 BC by the Sumerians.
数学是公元前300年苏美尔人发明的一门非常重要的学科。
Funny story about the Sumerians, actually.
实际上，数学一开始就是一些关于苏美尔人的有趣故事。
And this dude Gilgamesh, he was legendary.
还有这个叫吉尔伽美什的家伙，他可是个传奇人物。
Excuse me, when do we get to the part of the meeting where it’s done in song?
打扰一下，我们什么时候才能到最后开始唱歌结束这次会议那部分？
Exactly zero percent of this meeting is gonna be in song.
这次会议绝不会出现任何歌声！
Okay.
好吧。
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
哈利路亚，哈利路亚。
Dog, if you’re gonna chirp like that, at least use an Auto-Tune program.
如果你真的要像那样喋喋不休，至少给自己请个百万调音师吧？
Hallelujah.
哈利路亚。
Oh my gosh, stop it.
哦，天哪，停下来！
I don’t like that, stop it!
我不喜欢这样，停！
Yeah, you know, pretty soon, computers are gonna be replacing all of y’all.
是的，你们都知道，很快，计算机将取代所有人。
So, meeting dismissed.
所以，会议结束。
See you in the metaverse?
那大家去网上开会？
Sports fans, I don’t see how a computer can ever replace running a mile, and then sweating through your clothes in the next class period.
体育迷们，我看不出电脑怎么能取代跑一英里，然后在下一节课上汗流浃背这件事情。
Uh, yeah.
呃，是的。
Thanks for that.
谢谢你的表达。
It makes discussing Animal Farm with a bunch of 14-year-olds smell like we’re actually at an animal farm.
就像，我们和一群14岁的孩子一起讨论动物农场，我们还得真的去动物农场不成？
Was that an example of irony?
这又是在反讽吗？
Why, or why not?
是？或者不是？
A computer will never replace the utter devastation that an audience feels when they look up on the stage,
当观众抬头看舞台时，电脑永远无法取代他们的感受，
and see Oedipus Rex discovering that he has murdered his father and married his own mother.
尤其是当他们看到俄狄浦斯发现他谋杀了自己的父亲，娶了自己的母亲后的那种震撼！
Yeah, you know what?
是啊，你知道吗？
I think I’d be fine subtracting that experience from my life.
其实这段经历在我的生活中有没有真的不重要。
Hello? Can we bring it back?
你好？我们还能回到正题上来吗？
Yeah, man.
是啊，伙计。
You’re gonna make me lose my appetite again.
我又要开始倒胃口了。
On Chicken Tendy Tuesday!
这可是星期二，吃鸡肉的大日子！
Thanks for the reminder, Lunch.
谢谢你的提醒，午餐。
Health, what are you doing?
健康，你在做什么？
What?
什么？
Proper nutrition is very important.
适当的营养是非常重要的。
So, I always eat 11 bags of spinach every day.
所以，我每天都会吃11袋菠菜薯片呢！
Nice, I ate 11 bags of Doritos last night.
哇哦，我昨晚吃了11袋多力多滋呢。
Science, do you have the munchies?
科学，你吃零食吗？
I thought we had a talk about the old devil’s lettuce, huh?
可不可以不要谈生菜，这对我来说简直就是噩梦。
The wacky tabaccy?
怪异的烟草？
The magic grass?
神奇的草？
Let me see your eyes.
让我看看你的眼睛。
Open them up!
睁开眼睛！
Can we please vamonos, my amigos?
我们能不能抓紧时间呢，我的朋友们？
I am late for my siesta!
我还要去午睡呢！
Spanish, you’re what the French call, Les Incompetents.
西班牙人，难怪法国人说你无能。
You’re the Ronald McDonald of foreign language requirements.
你大概就是罗纳德·麦克唐纳的翻版吧。
Okay, I had enough of you.
好了，我受够了。
Get ready for el combate.
来打一架吧。
Meet me after this in La Biblioteca.
结束之后在老地方见！
Yo, sorry to interrupt, but does anyone have a fire extinguisher?
哟，抱歉打扰了，有没有人有灭火器？
I think I accidentally ignited an accelerant.
我想我好像不小心点燃了助燃剂。
I knew it!
我就知道！
He’s been cooking crank!
他一直在鬼鬼祟祟的！
Oh dear.
哦，亲爱的。
Oh my gosh. I give up.
哦，我的天哪，我投降了。
But we are gonna have this meeting again next semester.
就这样吧，虽然下学期我们还要开这个会。
And once again, History’s gonna have to repeat himself.
历史还会重演。
This would’ve never happened in the metaverse!
